i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
home. puking in laundry basket.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize