wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
