is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
