Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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