All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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