im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
