Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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