It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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