But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
