Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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