she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
