I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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