He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
