Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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