gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
