Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
