He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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