where does the pee come out of this thing
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize