I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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