It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
