He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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