I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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