He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize