the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
