I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
