Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
