Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize