Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
