Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize