that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
