Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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