i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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