if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
third nipple confirmed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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