LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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