Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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