She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
