Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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