I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
