I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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