Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
