turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
