Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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