I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
