Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
