There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
