sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
