I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
