found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize