Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize