Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
