worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
