didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
