I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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