You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
