you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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