Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
