i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
