im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
