everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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