i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize