He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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