Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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