She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
