she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My life is pants optional.
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