he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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