This girl is more easily done than said...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
